


Low Hanging Fruit

by schwartz1e



Category: BomBARDed (Podcast)
Genre: Also spoilers for like...everything...up to episode 19, alternate title is Randy Does a Hit, its angst folks, just some big ol angst, like i cant even say this is hurt comfort in good conscious bc i dont think it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-23 13:41:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14935340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schwartz1e/pseuds/schwartz1e
Summary: “Oh, my little Raz’berry, how have you been?”Or, what would have happened if Raz’ul hadn’t ignored his father’s voice in the caves.





	1. Chapter 1

“Oh, my little Raz’berry, how have you been?”

His father’s voice echoes in his head and Raz’ul stops, because that’s what you do when King Daz’ul talks to you—you freeze and you listen and you hope he’s feeling merciful. Yashee and Randy stop a little bit ahead of him and turn to him, confused, but before he can say anything, King Daz’ul speaks again.

“Answer me, boy,” he demands. “It’s been too long since we’ve talked.” Raz’ul ducks his head, his jaw clenched. He refuses to answer.

He hears Daz’ul slam his staff down on the floor and Raz’ul feels it echo throughout his skull. He falls to his knees, holding his head in pain. He finally looks behind him—

And there’s King Daz’ul of Mount Tain, splendid and ferocious, one hand holding his staff and the other resting on the short sword at his belt. His eyes are as cold as Raz’ul remembered, hard and dark like the rocks in the caves he grew up in.

“How’re you now, lad?” Daz’ul asks. “Feelin’ up to talkin’ to your old man now?”

Raz’ul stands and turns all the way around to properly face his father. He thinks about how he should push his shoulders back and stand up straight, show off how strong he’s become because his friends are here and he’s not the scared little dwarf he once was. But his father fixes him with that stare and his shoulders slump and he looks down at his feet. He feels Daz’ul gaze like a weight, as solid as the axe on his back. Raz’ul tries to speak, tries to tell his father about how he has fought far greater foes than Daz’ul could ever dream of but his voice no longer works. He stands there, the familiar ache of shame settling in his stomach. Daz’ul chuckles and takes a step forward.

“Nothing new, I guess, eh, Raz’berry?” the king says. “Still the same little dwarf you always were. And, eh, speaking of little—who are your friends?”

This finally makes Raz’ul look up. Daz’ul is looking over his son’s shoulder at Yashee and Randy. Raz’ul straightens his spine and spreads his hands slightly, as though he could hide his friends from his father’s sight with just his body. Daz’ul laughs. 

“Ah, protective of them, are we? It’s about time you had a spine about something than your silly potpourri.” Raz’ul grits his teeth but says nothing.

“Don’t worry, my boy, I’m not here for them. I’m only here for you.” Raz’ul slowly puts his arms down, now unable to break his gaze away from his father’s. To Raz’ul’s surprise, Daz’ul’s face almost softens. He almost looks sad. He almost fools Raz’ul into feeling sorry for him.

“Why won’t you come home, Raz’berry?” Daz’ul says. “It’s been so long. We can talk about what happened with the axe. It can all be forgiven if you just come home.” Raz’ul feels something akin to hope begin to bloom in his chest. To return home...well, wasn’t that always the plan? To travel, to learn, to prove himself to his father and brothers. And hadn’t he succeeded? Raz’ul had looked a god in the face and survived. He had escaped a crumbling town using his wits and agility. And now he was preparing to face an alien from another dimension. The old Raz’ul would never have survived. He deserved a place in his father’s kingdom. King Daz’ul smiled, as though he knew what his son was thinking.

“You dont need to run wild around the country anymore, Raz’ul,” he says, his voice softer and quieter than his son had ever heard. “You’ll be safer at home, with your family.” 

But when Raz’ul hears that word, ‘family,’ his mind does not call forth visions of Mount Tain and his brothers and fellow dwarves. Instead, he sees his dorm room at Strumlotts, and Splash and Yashee and Randy. His band mates who have supported him from that very first day, followed him to to Lakeridge for new strings, fought alongside him against faze spiders and an eddercap. They are his source of strength and determination and until their mission is complete and they find out what the hell is happening, Raz’ul isn’t going anywhere. 

So Raz’ul clenches his jaw, holds his head high, looks at his father and says,

“No.”

His head splits with pain once more as King Daz’ul brings his staff down on the floor again. The soft gaze is gone; in its place is the cold stare Raz’ul is familiar with. The young dwarf holds his head, trembling, eyes filling with tears as his father walks slowly toward him. 

“Still weak,” Daz’ul says with a sneer, punctuating his sentence with another BOOM of his staff. Raz’ul convulses and falls to his knees. “Still so unfit to rule.” BOOM. Raz’ul collapses on his side, blind with pain. He hears his father’s footsteps stop near his head, and then the sound of his short sword being drawn.

“Unfit to be my son.”

But before his father can strike, Raz’ul uses the last of his constitution to roll to his knees, grab Usumptin off his back and swing. He feels the blade connect and hears a scream that is distinctly not his father’s.

Raz’ul opens his eyes (when had he closed them?) and sees Yashee sitting on the ground in front of him, where his father had been standing, holding her bloodied calf. He looks around the cave wildly but King Daz’ul is nowhere to be found. He turns back and Yashee and Randy are staring at him in concern. 

“Did you see him?” Raz’ul asks them. He’s panting and panicked. His head still aches. “Where did he go?” Yashee and Randy look even more confused.

“Who? What are you talking about?” Randy asks. He’s starting to cast Cure Wounds on Yashee and Raz’ul knows he should help but he has to find his father first, its the only way they’ll all be safe right now. He stands, holding Usumptin at the ready.

“Where are you?!” he yells, brandishing his axe. “C’mon, lets finish this!” From behind him he hears his father’s laughter, cruel and mocking, and Raz’ul sees red. As he turned and sprints down the tunnel, back toward where they came from, he wonders if this is how Yashee feels when she rages. 

He hears Yashee and Randy calling his name but he can’t turn back, can’t let his father continue to torture him like this. It ends now.

His father’s voice echoes around him again.

“Oh, Raz’ul. So eager to prove yourself. How does it feel to keep failing?” 

Raz’ul lets out a wordless yell, anger and frustration coursing through him. His head pulses with every step but he does not stop.

“It’s useless, Raz’ul,” Daz’ul says. Raz’ul hears his father’s staff slam down again and it feels like his head splits in two. He trips and falls to the ground, Usumthin falling out of his hands and sliding away. He is paralyzed with fear and pain. Once again he hears his father’s footsteps stop near his head. The young dwarf lays there, unable to even open his eyes to see King Daz’ul’s disappointment one last time.

Through the haze of agony, Raz’ul thinks he hears Yashee and Randy’s voices calling out to him. He almost smiles. He’s glad his last thoughts will be of his family. He can just make out what they’re saying over the smooth sound of his father’s short sword being unsheathed. 

“Raz’ul! It’s not real! Raz’ul, get up, it’s Squid Vicious, it’s not real!”

In a rush, Raz’ul remembers everything that has transpired in the caves—Squid and the Gils and Eddie and the memories of Dank’ul—and he hears a frustrated “No!” in his head. He sits up with a gasp as all of the pain leaves him at once. Yashee and Randy round a corner and see him. They run to him and fall to their knees next to him as soon as they’re close enough.

“Randy figured it out,” Yashee says, trying to catch her breath. “Squid was making you see and hear...things. Are you okay?”

Raz’ul says nothing. He stares at the ground, his heart still pounding and the ghost of a headache still at his temples. Is he okay? “That’s a very good question,” he thinks to himself.

“That’s a very good question,” he says. He pats his chest and legs, aware now of some cuts and bruises he must have gotten from falling so much. His hands are shaking. He takes a deep breath.

“I’ll live.” 

Yashee and Randy help him stand and Yashee presses Usumptin into his hands. It’s a comfort, despite everything that has occurred. Raz’ul straps it on his back again, and then looks at Yashee in horror.

“Your leg...I’m so sorry—“ he stammers but Yashee waves her hand. 

“Randy healed me,” she says. “I’m fine. Got back more than enough hit points.”

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Randy asks suddenly. Raz’ul has never seen him look so concerned. But then again, he knows best what it's like to not know your own mind. The dwarf sighs and smiles a little sadly.

“I will be,” he says with a surprising amount of honesty. “Now come on. I owe Squid Vicious a meeting with Usumptin.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Randy asks Raz’ul about what Squid showed him in Basom. 
> 
> Aka it’s the second chapter to Raz’ul Hit that no one asked for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are Eddie and Squid metaphors for mental illness? Am I projecting onto fictional characters again? Read on to find out!
> 
> (Spoilers: Yes and Yes.)

Randy waits a few days before asking Raz’ul about what happened in the tunnels below Basom. He knows first-hand just how jarring it is to discover that you’re not alone in your own head (and somewhere deep in his brain Eddie cackles), and he thinks it might be best to let Raz’ul process it in his own time before Randy probes.

Yashee asks him too soon, and it backfires almost immediately. Raz’ul had already been acting kind of distant since the incident, and although Yashee’s intentions are innocent Raz’ul’s reaction is anything but. 

He snaps at her, viciously, calls her nosy, says it’s none of her business and she shouldn’t care so much, and then slams his bedroom door in her face. Randy sits with her on the couch for almost two hours to calm her down. Raz’ul remained in his room for two days.

So Randy decides to wait a little longer.

But Randy is kind of desperate? He has been alone in this for so long, he’s dying to talk to someone, anyone who understands the confusion and betrayal inherit in another entity occupying your brain and making you doubt every action and word. But because of this, he doesn’t know exactly where to begin.

He finally finds his opportunity to try when he enters their dorm one afternoon and finds Raz’ul sitting on the couch, absently plucking at Axe Usumptin’s strings and staring at the wall. His eyes are glazed over and there’s a deep frown on his face. He doesn’t even notice Randy enter until the halfling clears his throat. Raz’ul jumps at the sound like he’s been electrocuted, then half-smiles sheepishly when he sees it’s just Randy.

“Oh, hey bud,” he says. “Uh, sorry, was just kinda zoning out. What’s, uh, what’s up?” Randy shrugs, still standing by the door.

“Not much,” he says. Then he clears his throat again. It’s now or never, he supposes. “Can I talk to you about what Squid showed you in Basom?”

Raz’ul’s back stiffens immediately and his grip on Usumptin gets so tight his knuckles turn white. He looks like he’s ready to bolt. Randy doesn’t move, determined to see this through, to find some understanding. 

“Why?” is all Raz’ul finally says, his voice as tight as his spine. Randy sort of half-shrugs, and says nothing. Raz’ul takes a deep breath and looks down at his axe, plucking at the strings again.

“It really wasn’t much of anything,” he says finally. “Just some like...nightmare stuff, y’know? Some weird monster was chasing me, and I freaked out and...and attacked...but, uh, it was nothing. Yeah.” 

Randy narrows his eyes. He knows Raz’ul well enough by now to know that the dwarf has an issue with being truthful. He can tell that Raz’ul is lying but he doesn’t understand why. 

“If it was nothing, then why have you been acting like...like this?” Randy says, gesturing to the way Raz’ul is slumped on the couch. Raz’ul shifts, clearly uncomfortable, and shrugs.

“I dunno, can’t a dwarf just want some peace and quiet after going on a life-threatening mission? It’s kind of a lot to deal with.” Anger creeps into Raz’ul’s voice, and Randy knows he has to tread carefully from here.

“Fair enough,” Randy says slowly, “but...we all were on that mission together. Wouldn’t you rather...I dunno, talk it out? With people who understand?”

Raz’ul plucks a wrong note on his guitar and the dissonant sound echoes through the dorm. He places a hand over the strings to silence them, and then takes another deep breath, finally looking at Randy. His eyes are cold.

“You don’t understand,” he said, his voice almost a growl. “Neither does Yashee. Neither of you get it and....” He trails off, apparently searching for the right words, before letting out a frustrated sound and covering his face with his hands. The only sound in the room for a long while is Raz’ul’s shaking breaths. Randy waits patiently. Finally, the dwarf takes his hands away from his face and sniffs.

“Look,” he says, “what happened down there was...it sucked. I didn’t...expect to see what I did and...it just took me off guard, alright? It’s not exactly a good feeling to have someone root around in your brain and find your darkest secrets and use them against you, y’know?”

“I do, actually,” Randy says. Raz’ul looks at him sharply again, opening his mouth to argue but Randy cuts him off. “Remember? Eddie? Or have you already forgotten about the potpourri, or him blinding that kid in Basom, or Zil?” Raz’ul grits his teeth.

“It’s...it’s not the same,” Raz’ul begins but Randy cuts him off again.

“Are you sure?” he says, taking a step forward. “Because I think it is. I think it’s that same feeling of...of hopelessness. Feeling yourself lose control, not trusting yourself...Wondering if your friends trust you. Wondering if, or when, it’ll happen again. Right?”

Raz’ul doesn’t say anything. He stares at the floor for a moment, and then covers his eyes with one hand. He takes a deep, shuddering breath.

“I saw my dad,” he says. “And he was...well, he was my dad. And I couldn’t...do anything. It’s been so long since I’ve seen him, and I thought that...I dunno, that I’d be ready to see him when I did. But I wasn’t. And maybe I never will be?” He takes another shaky breath. “I just thought that I’d be the one to initiate us meeting. But I wasn’t and...it feels like I lost a battle that neither of us were actually fighting.” Randy nods and finally hops up next to Raz’ul on the couch.

“That’s how it feels with Eddie, a lot of the time,” he says. “He tells me to do something and I know I should refuse but...it’s hard. As much as I hate to admit it, he’s a part of me, and fighting with your own mind...like, what are you even supposed to do?” Raz’ul nods. His hand still covers his eyes, but Randy sees a few tears sliding down his cheeks. Randy fishes around in his pocket and finds a (probably) clean handkerchief. He reaches out and pulls Raz’ul’s hand away from his face and holds the cloth toward him. Raz’ul takes it with a small smile and wipes his face, sniffling a little. Randy doesn’t let go of his hand. 

“Having someone invade your brain sucks,” Randy says, “but Squid’s not here anymore. He can’t attack you like that again, I can at least guarantee that. What I can’t guarantee is how or when you’ll see your dad again, but that’s...I don’t wanna say it doesn’t matter, but it doesn’t. Because no matter what happens, we’re gonna make sure you’re ready to see him, and we’ll be with you when you do. Okay?” Raz’ul nods and sobs a little, pressing the handkerchief to his face. He chuckles and wipes his face again. Randy squeezes his hand. 

“Wanna go see if Yashee has anymore chocolate hidden away in her room?” he asks. Raz’ul looks at him.

“Yashee has chocolate hidden in her room?!” Randy grins and stands, tugging Raz’ul to his feet along with him.

“Oh, my friend, the wonders I will show you, “ he says, “and by wonders I mean all the treats hidden underneath Yashee’s bed. Come, follow me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: @fully-realized-creation
> 
> Twitter: @schwartzie7
> 
> I love you.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: @fully-realized-creation  
> Twitter: @schwartzie7
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
